’Fessing Up to Your Fears: Lessons from a Novice Networker
By Liz Lynch

A few weeks ago, I facilitated a progressive networking breakfast where participants switched tables twice over the course of the meal to interact with three different groups of people. Events like that are great because you maximize the number of connections you make in a very short amount of time. And when the events are done well—and I always strive to go the extra mile when I lead them—you also form deeper connections. Breadth and depth in networking.

The events are also great fodder for my e-zine and blogs. One of these days I’ll tell you about the lady-who-led-with-her-business-card and why that was such a big no-no. But here, I really wanted to share some insights about the newbie-who-got-noticed.

I met her during the second round of the event. She sat at my table along with several networking veterans I knew, and some I didn’t. No one could tell by looking at her that she was completely new to networking. And had she not told us herself, we would never have guessed. 

This was the first networking event she had ever attended, yet she handled herself beautifully and was an instant hit. Why? She did a number of things that sometimes even experienced networkers forget (or don’t know) to do to make a lasting, positive impression. 

If you’re just getting started with networking, you’d be wise to take some of these lessons to heart:

• She admitted she was nervous.  Just came right out and told the whole table. While this may seem like a risky move on the surface, in fact, she endeared herself to us immediately. She didn’t quite know what she was supposed to do, and by saying so in an honest and heartfelt way, we all wanted to help her. 

• She was friendly and enthusiastic.  A smile goes a long way. No one wants to network with a sourpuss. You need to be approachable and show that you’re open to learning and listening if you want to attract great people into your network.

• She showed a strong work ethic.  During the group interaction she shared that she was working full-time at a bank, going to school for her degree and also working part-time in the music industry. Definitely no slouch. We were all impressed with her and felt that although she was young and didn’t have a lot of experience, she could get any job done through sheer hard work.

• She came prepared.  Though the bank didn’t give her her own business cards, she brought a stack with her boss’s name and wrote her name and cell phone number on the back. A few people at the breakfast actually ran out of business cards. A rookie mistake that I’ve seen many veterans make, but that this newbie did not.

• She thanked me afterwards.  What can I say, I’m a sucker for politeness.  I always feel that it’s a nice touch to thank the organizers of an event especially, and, to a lesser extent, the speakers. In addition to being a considerate gesture, it’s an easy (and quick!) opportunity to get face time with some of the most influential people in the room. And since so few people do it, you’ll be remembered.

While I’ve come to specialize in teaching networking from the ground up, giving new networkers a progression of steps and tools to get motivated and get going, what I learned that day was networking from the inside out—how enthusiasm, authenticity and ’fessing up to your fears can be just as important to a successful start.